This morning as I drove to my fitness class in Venice, I passed many homeless men and women walking on the sidewalks. There seemed to be more than usual, and I watched from my car as they dug through the trash while gathering plastic bottles and searching for food. One man, who looked particularly dirty, was turning in circles over and over and over again. My heart ached for him and as I drove past, I found myself praying specifically for him. Who takes care of this poor man? This poor man who is obviously mentally unstable and alone? I couldn't shake the depression that washed over me. I pass by homeless men and women almost every day and so I wondered why it bothered me so much more today than other days. Perhaps it is because there were so many more, or perhaps it is because tomorrow marks what would have been my 11 year wedding anniversary had my husband not died 5 years ago in a plane crash.
Over the past five years I have had many friends and family surround me and help me in ways that have sustained me. I have built a "new" life and I am now engaged and soon to marry a wonderful man. This, however, does not mean I never grieve the past. Planning a wedding while dealing with the emotions of what would have been an eleven year wedding anniversary to a now deceased spouse is confusing and emotional. How could it not be? Life goes on, yes. But the heart does not forget the ones we loved and love still. Life is not black and white. To me, it seems mostly grey.
As I think about the support and love I received from others, I feel responsible to help those in need in return. To further solidify this feeling, I read the following verse today:
2 corinthians 1: 3-4
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
I may not be able to do much, but I can do something. We all can. That said, tomorrow I am going to pass out sandwiches to the homeless men and women on the street that I pass. Most importantly, I am going to do it with a smile because perhaps what they need most. We all need love and we need to feel important. Taking a few moments to look someone in the eye and show them you see them and that you care, can mean the world. I know it has always meant the world to me.
Over the past five years I have had many friends and family surround me and help me in ways that have sustained me. I have built a "new" life and I am now engaged and soon to marry a wonderful man. This, however, does not mean I never grieve the past. Planning a wedding while dealing with the emotions of what would have been an eleven year wedding anniversary to a now deceased spouse is confusing and emotional. How could it not be? Life goes on, yes. But the heart does not forget the ones we loved and love still. Life is not black and white. To me, it seems mostly grey.
As I think about the support and love I received from others, I feel responsible to help those in need in return. To further solidify this feeling, I read the following verse today:
2 corinthians 1: 3-4
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
I may not be able to do much, but I can do something. We all can. That said, tomorrow I am going to pass out sandwiches to the homeless men and women on the street that I pass. Most importantly, I am going to do it with a smile because perhaps what they need most. We all need love and we need to feel important. Taking a few moments to look someone in the eye and show them you see them and that you care, can mean the world. I know it has always meant the world to me.
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