"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on. " Havelock Ellis (1859 - 1939 )British psychologist

I came across this quote today and as I read it, I nodded in agreement. As a young widow, I struggled to find the balance of letting go of my grief for Mark, yet holding on to the memories and the love we shared. There was often confusion, guilt, and pain in learning how to live without him. They say time heals, and it does. However, it doesn't let you fully forget. I can look back on the past 5 years and say I did my best to live life in a way that honored Mark, yet allowed me to move towards a new life without him. This is what I knew he would want and ultimately what I knew I needed to do as well. It is amazing to look back and see what a struggle it was. To look back and see how much I kicked and screamed to let go of him and how I thought I was honoring him by "hanging on." I have learned to think differently about it now and I have done my best to move forward while also remembering, honoring, and loving him forever. He has made me a better person and I will always cherish him.