October is coming and there is nothing I can do to stop it. It was our favorite month of the year. And now for the first time I have to live through that special month alone without my husband. We always made so many memories in October. We went on a Caribbean Cruise the year I turned 30 and I got to celebrate that milestone birthday on a beautiful Caribbean island. We always took our annual trip to a local orchard and pumpkin patch to pick out our selection of pumpkins to decorate our front porch with. My husband proposed to me on bended knee on a cool October night. And when it came time to pick the month in which we would be married, we mutally agreed to our favorite month. In a few short weeks I will have to endure the pain that I can not escape. Our wedding anniversary is October 14. It would have been our first anniversary. For the rest of my life I will never get to celebrate that wonderful day with my husband. It will now be a day that I will forever dred every year. My husband and I were not blessed in years but only weeks. I lost my husband in a car crash just nine weeks after we were married and four days before what would have been our first Christmas together. I wish I could fast forward these next few months and start with January again. But I know I can not out run the fall season. It's coming and all I can do is brace myself for the impact of pain that will follow.
I will not try to pretend that I know what you are going through, nor will I offer words of advice, because I know from experience that neither will ease the pain or the heartbreak. I am 28 and just lost my husband unexpectedly in July. Though no 2 stories are the same, I am sure we are dealing with many of the same experiences and emotions. I continue to be in shock, each time I encounter another young woman who is going through a similar situation. I would never wish this upon anyone, but each time I hear someone's story, it gives me strength to fight... to fight for the opportunity to be happy again, some day. I hope that you have been able to find people to talk to that can relate to your story, for me this has been one of the biggest blessings and has helped me out tremendously. If you ever want to talk, feel free to reach out to me.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers will be with you this October. That you may find peace and joy in the memories you made together, and that you will be able to find happiness in those things that were so special to the two of you. God Bless.