Friday, August 24, 2012

Notes from 30,000 feet (12/8/2011)




As we descend from amongst the clouds and I see the snow frosted peaks cascading into the blanket of barren brown land below, my heart is made heavy. I want it back.

He was killed descending into a mountainous land. His plane crashed and burst into flames. A million pieces scattered on the dry land below. A million pieces of my heart broken. A million smiles and moments of laughter lost.

There is no going back. I must move forward.

Be courageous little girl. You are a grown woman now. You have opportunities and love and life to be lived out. Move those heavy feet and tired soul, you will be renewed. You will find the strength to move on when you take that first step.

The plane lands and I reluctantly step out onto the brown soil below. A new day. A new beginning. Another chance at life. Another opportunity for smiles and laughter and new love.


A Perspective on Suffering

“Althought the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”
Helen Keller

I have traveled the world and I have seen much suffering. Perhaps one of the most helpful perspectives that I was given, was visiting widows and orphans in Africa. Seeing the situation that they were in completely challenged me in my state of self-pity. I was completely devastated and heartbroken by 

the loss of my husband. However, I did have family and friends to help take care of me. I had food to eat and a home to live in. I live in a country in which I can be a self-sufficient working woman. Some of these women and children in Africa were literally starving and without family. They live in a world in which it is difficult for a woman to provide on her own.
Learning to turn my hurt towards helping others greatly relieved my pain. It was easy to do while there, but it became a struggle again when back in the US. Selfish in nature, it is a constant struggle to give to others, although it is the best thing we can do. It is the most healing and it is what we are called to do.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

From We to Me


"The day is here.  One year.

One year without my husband.  Best friend.  Lover."